Day 1

As I have posted in past blogs, Jake is being deployed.

He is supposed to leave May 20th.

That's 10 days away. 

BUT

Because we are the military, anything can happen. ANYTHING. 

Here is what happened. 

Jake and I have packed up our whole house, except for the necessary things such as my computer, bed, games, and some cooking supplies. The house is empty and everything echos. Kinda eery too. 

Yesterday around 3:45 PM Jake and I were playing the Harry Potter Scene It 1-8 game and really having a blast (Jake was rolling really good this time which was a first since I usually only do). 

All of a sudden, we heard the phone ring. We weren't expecting anyone, so he went and grabbed his phone. I always hold my breath when he answers the phone because if he answers it normal and says hello I know it's someone either in the family or a friend. But if he answers saying "This is A1c Worthington" I hold my breath waiting to know what is being said on the other side. This particular time though I was so engulfed into the game that I didn't hear him answer and have the conversation. 

Jake then walked into the living room where I was sitting trying to think of ways I could win. He had a pale look on his face, and so I asked him what was wrong and what happened. "I leave tomorrow" was all he said. "What" I said. He then repeated himself. 

After about 30 seconds of going into shock and immediate tears flowing down my cheeks it was time to get down to business with packing and getting all his gear together. 

We went to the BX (base exchange) and got a few things and then went to Andrews to finish some paperwork. 

After 3 hours of doing that and trying to get everything done, we went to a last dinner together at Chili's. It was pretty good, and Jake enjoyed his steak and ribs so that made me happy. We then went to Walmart and finished up with the supplies he needed. 

When we got home it was close to 10:30. It was time to get everything packed. We did that until a good 2:30 in the morning. (He had a lot of gear)

This morning he had to be at work by 7:30 so that meant he had to leave at 7:00. I woke up with him and made him yummy peanut butter and banana toast and cinnamon rolls. At this point I was just in limbo. I didn't cry I just sat and stared at him and enjoyed the last breakfast with him for a while. 

After he left and went to work, I just blanked. I didn't know what to do. I sat on the computer and just stared. Trying to empty my brain into something else. Trying not to think about the fact that the 10 days I had planned with my husband were now taken away and I was only given 15 hours notice. 

Now I want to take a second and clarify something. Most wives would be pissed off. Most wives would have a scowl on their face when the husband left. Most wives would gripe and complain. BUT I am not like that. I'm not pissed off about all this. I'm not scowling at the world, and you can be sure to never hear me complain that the military took my husband. We joined the military together. This was a joint decision and I am PROUD of my husband. Yes, I am sad. Yes, I am heartbroken, Yes, I cried my eyes out. But I will not succumb to the negativity that comes with deployments. He doesn't need it and I will not make this harder on either of us. And yes, I am disappointed that I don't get those 10 days, but if he needs 10 extra days in training so that he safe and knows his job better, then I am more than willing to give them up for that. I need him to come home to me. 

Anyway, after I got ready for the day I left and went to see Jake at Andrews AFB because he needed me to come and help him with something. When I got there I dropped him off at a meeting he had to go to and sat in the car with the battery running. Well, my battery sucks and before I knew it my car died. The guy I asked to help me didn't know a thing about cars and had no idea what he was doing, and so when all the cords were hooked up of course it didn't work! But because my husband is smart he came out and started it up for me. I am REALLY going to miss the security he gives me. 

After the car was started I took him back to his squadron and had to say goodbye to him. 

That was THE hardest thing I have ever had to do. 

Give me the 2 year mission

Give me the 2 month BMT with the 1 month Tech School

But this? War? It Sucks. 

It was just like the movies. We hugged. We kissed. He got on one of those busses, and waved goodbye. 

Both us cried. I can't deny that. I was bawling. 

I stood there until I couldn't see the bus anymore. After that I got in my car, cried some more, then left and went and got ice cream because that is what I was feeling. When I got home, I put on a movie (He's just not that into you-Don't ask why, I was in a Ginnifer mood). I ate my ice cream, cried some more, and then  one of my closest friends Jamie here came over with more ice cream and a shoulder to cry on. We cried together. There is nothing more strong than a bond between military families that know what it's like. She is amazing and I am so happy to have a support system here for now that I can go to. 

After she left I cried more and finished my movie then started Harry Potter. 

Jake then called cause his plane had landed and he was boarding his next flight. I miss him so much already. 

Since he called I have just been cleaning. I refuse to let myself mope. I did that when he was on his mission and I am not doing it this time. 

I love my husband and I am so happy to call him mine. I will never find a better man or a more perfect man than him. He takes care of me and he takes care of the people around him. He is smart and will be safe over there. I am going to miss him terribly, but I know I will see him in November. I have so much to look forward to when he gets home that it's exciting to think about it. (More on that later :) ) He is my everything and I really couldn't be more proud of him. He is amazing, and I know that he will do great. I love him. 

Tomorrow starts Day 2. Hopefully I can keep up on this blog while he is away so I have a journal type thing for him to read. :)